I like my sex mixed with concussions.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
