Umm I'm too high to move.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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