Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
you inspire me to be a worse person
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize