butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
