See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
