There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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