I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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