He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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