Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
