her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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