DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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