Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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