so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
