whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
