Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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