At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Boobs are out for the taking
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
