I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
