I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
