I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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