You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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