Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
