Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
The air was thick with penises
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
