i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
