i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
