Pants 0. Shit 1.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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