True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
