Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
