Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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