I smell stomach acid.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
