Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
