I murdered the dance floor call the cops
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
