You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
