Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He better not be in your backpack
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
