I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
