maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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