apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
