i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
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You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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