doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
My dick has a subreddit
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
