i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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