Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
