His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
