I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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