i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Someone signed my nipple.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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