you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
