whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
