you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
