Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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