I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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