Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
