your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
