I only kidnapped one of them. chill
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
