Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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