so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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