remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
