Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
