Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
