bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize