she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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