i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
