all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
