is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
