the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
