I think i peed on brittanys purse
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
