I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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