Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
