dude i'm inner monologue high
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
